(This column could even show up on Tarot.com in the future … gods willing .

Please post your question or concern in the comments section below (please keep it to one or two short paragraphs). All submissions will remain anonymous, but I’d like to get a first name and your city. Whether they are edited and published or not, I will answer all of the first 5 submissions via email at the very least.

Thanks in advance for helping me out here!

First of all, there is the largest surface geothermal pool I’ve ever seen … I mean, there is a sizeable pool of water that is 180° at the surface! Of course, it is fenced off, but it is an amazing site, near the Breitenbush River. The BB community generates its own electricity from the BB River and, along with everything else, it uses some of this power to push hot water through a huge network of radiators, providing comfy heat to all of the 60 or so cabins, as well as the cooperative community that runs the place and the big lodge, office, etc. This is really being “off the grid!” No wireless, no internet either (which is kind of a nice vacation in a way).

There are lots of hot tubs and even a steamroom that sits on top of the steaming creek that flows out of the big hot pool I mentioned. Best steambath ever! Being an inveterate hippie, I also like the fact that all the soaking pools and steambath, etc. are “clothing optional.” Skinnydipping is such a psychologically healthy (and probably one of the less sexual) things you can do — a mild remedy for body-shame, no matter what kind of shape you are in, once you overcome your ingrained self-consciousness. (As Gay Hendricks recommends in his book Conscious Living, “I am committed to loving my body.”)

If you get the chance next winter, be sure to attend Rick and Jeff’s “Winter Astrology Conference” — only 2 hours from Portland (see Breitenbush.com). This place is toasty warm and R&J are an incredible team. Not only will you learn a lot about astrology, but you will get an in-person forecast for the coming year … great stuff. As Wendy from Vancouver BC emailed me, “The weekend was nothing short of magical and yet paradoxically full of practical learning that I can integrate daily.”

See you in the hot tubs!

In her book “The Future of Love,” Daphne writes and teaches that, during the past century of personal growth along psychological lines, people have been trying to use relationships for emotional need fulfillment. Now that many of us have done a fair amount of “emotional work” — often wreaking havoc on traditional forms of relationship — we are being called by Spirit to view relationships differently. It is time for relationships to become less personality-based and more soul-based, which means different forms, different priorities, and a different experience of Love.

It’s hard to let go of our desire to get our emotional needs met by a partner … it’s such an attractive fantasy, but it doesn’t really work. It puts too much pressure on one relationship. A soul-based approach to relationship has a different objective. Rather than looking to the other to meet our personal needs, we look to the relationship as an adventure of love and ask “How can I expand my ability to be kind and generous, not only to a partner, but to myself and all beings.” A much wider perspective … and much more under our control.

We cannot control the past. We cannot control other people (not even a spouse . The one things we can control have to do with the “inner game” — our attitude and our expectations. Perhaps the more I look to how I can be more loving, focusing on radiating love (including for myself), instead of getting my needs met by another person, I will attract a partnership that better serves our long-term well-being and happiness.

The traditional example is of herders sharing a common pasture, on which they are each entitled to let their cows graze. It is in each herder’s self-interest to put additional cows he acquires onto the land, even if the carrying capacity of the common is exceeded and it is temporarily or permanently damaged for everyone as a result. This herder receives all of the benefits from an additional cow, while the damage to the commons is shared by the entire group. If all herders make this individually rational economic decision, the commons will be depleted or even destroyed to the detriment of all.

It always amazes me how ignorant we humans (especially americans) remain of this Law of the Commons! One would think that our political representatives, at least, should have a clue about how this works (rather than knee-jerk demonizing “socialism” in even its mildest forms). But now, of course, our congressman are too largely bought and sold by their corporate masters — who not only do not have a clue, but don’t want one!

To be conscious and responsible around the stewardship of our commons — our natural resources — might slow down the ‘inexpensive’ exploitation of nature, and that could affect quarterly earnings! And as long as the taxpayers will bear the costs – and we do bear all the costs of damage to our collective environment or health in the form of taxation or deficits — what is the incentive for corporations, totally focused on short-term profits, to care? None!

We live in an economic system that is continually despoiling the commons for the outsized gain of the few corporate masters who run the show. We need to wake up and insist that our representatives understand the Tragedy of the Commons and their responsibility to avoid it. Our pattern of extolling individual rights, including the rights of corporations, at the expense of the commons, can come to no good end for any of us, including the oligarchs.

Nature will come swooping down on flying dynosaurs and kick our mechanical butts!

I am using the free I Ching reading feature on tarot.com — http://www.tarot.com/oracle. I decided to ask the Oracle about our dismal economy, so I type into the screen was “Best way to relate to depressed economy?”

While I am shaking the coins (placing my mouse over them on the screen), I begin a guided meditation with my eyes closed, letting the breath be deep and slow, sitting upright with  hands in prayer position. My prayer: “I surrender to the Truth. May divine wisdom flow through this I Ching reading to increase our clarity, adjust our attitude, and guide our way.”

The results were uncanny:The Present Hexagram that I cast was #39, Temporary Obstacles, with changing lines 4 and 6, which takes us into the Future Hexagram #33, Retreat.

This reading (below) speaks for itself, and with incredible clarity. Temporary obstacles leading to a retreat. Pretty straightforward. And the two changing lines offer two clear alternatives — one positive, one not as pleasant.

What I take from this reading is that this is a time to accept things the way they are and retreat in the face of what are in reality “temporary obstacles.”

Keep your head about you, focus on small details and, as the first changing line #4 clearly advises, be sure to line up as much support as you can before making any bold moves.

This is not a time to just ‘try harder’ at whatever you are used to doing, but to button down the hatches a little bit, to ride out the storm, always trying to remember that this recession is a “temporary obstacle,” which will turn into an up cycle in time.

There may be little you can do but ride out this wave’s trough cycle, just trying to stay on your surf board, focusing more on inner balance than great outward results. Another perfect reminder from our ancient sacred oracle, the I Ching!

For the full text of  hexagrams and changing lines that were cast in this I Ching reading, see below. (Text excerpted from the I Ching that I originally produced 31 years ago.)

Your Present Hexagram: #39 Temporary Obstacles

Have temporary obstacles been blocking your way? In the course of trying to reach a goal or to fulfill a personal ambition, obstructions inevitably present themselves. This is not always a bad thing. Obstacles, difficulties and even setbacks that are eventually overcome often turn into assets. Without irritating grains of sand, oysters would never make pearls.

The obstacles pointed to here are not permanent, yet they are in the way. As when a large boulder falls in the road, the best course of action is usually to go around it, rather than to try to move it out of the way. Temporary obstacles must be seen for what they are — temporary — and should not be allowed to take on too much significance.

A positive aspect of even the most difficult obstacle is that it may cause a person to turn inward, and gain greater depth and character. While the ignorant bemoan their fate and seek to blame their problems on others, the wise seek the cause of the problem within themselves. Through this type of introspection, obstacles become a means for personal growth and self-discovery.

Without air resistance, no plane would ever fly.

If you are facing temporary obstacles, try not to be overly concerned. Obstacles are a part of achieving every goal and furthering every undertaking. Setbacks and reverses can affect morale, but keeping up your self-confidence in the face of challenges is part of a successful solution to many of life’s problems. Obstacles of short duration are best handled with a yielding attitude. Go around the rock, don’t put your shoulder to it.

Your Changing Lines

The first changing line is line 4

When confronting a boulder in the road, many hands make light work if it must be moved. Many obstacles cannot be removed single-handedly. Do not venture out to confront such a serious obstacle until the proper support is with you. Enlist some help. To push before your support is in place would bring misfortune.

The second changing line is line 6

When a difficult situation degenerates into a real mess, only bold, forthright action can bring success. This line points to the situation of a person facing a major obstacle to forward progress — and something blocking him behind as well. There is no way forward, no going back. The situation is complex and there appears to be no way out.

When this happens, you must re-enter the fray. Do your best not to worry too much about the results. Look for help from above — from others in positions of authority and power. If you can find such support, success becomes probable. In the end, of course, you can never escape your fate.

Your Future Hexagram:  #33 Retreat

All worthy goals meet resistance of some kind. When negative forces predominate, a well-timed retreat is a good way to stay on the path to ultimate success. Tibetans know this.

Strategic retreat is not to be confused with escape or surrender. Successful retreat demands quick and nimble movement — taking up a new position before you are damaged by the current situation. You are not admitting defeat by temporarily retreating, but simply increasing your options, and preserving your resources. Sometimes it is necessary to slow down, let go or move back in order to develop countermoves for the future. Timing is critical, as is how well you position yourself after realignment. Considerations of personal security are critical.

Periods of withdrawal or retreat call for cool-headedness. It is necessary to keep your wits about you. Attend to small details while allowing yourself time to contemplate the whole picture. Be creative; not all progress follows a straight line. Self-confidence is also essential; small setbacks can easily become defeats if we allow ourselves to become mired in self-doubt or self-pity.

Waves of progress are, by their nature, short-lived. Learn to attune yourself to the up-and-down cycles of life. When the wave is behind you, ride it in; when it’s not, lie low. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can ‘fix’ any situation whenever you feel like it. Some things are bigger than you are. Hold your pride in check and you will be better prepared to find creative openings.

How much time and energy do we waste mulling over or resisting things that we cannot change — which includes everything that happened in the past (even a few moments ago)? We cannot change the past, we cannot change other people. Sometimes we can influence what they do, more often not so much. So what can we change? What can we focus on going forward in 2010?

We can change our habits, that’s what — including the habitual ways we react to things that we cannot change — like the behavior and speech of other people, for instance. In his book, The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz titled a chapter “Don’t Take Anything Personally.” I love the whole book, but especially that chapter.

What people say — even what they say about us –  tells us more about them than about us. I know this is a cliche, but it is true. Looked at this way, it is very revealing whenever someone offers some unsolicited criticism or, worse, an insult. It becomes more interesting to me — and less offending — to the extent that I remind myself it is primarily giving me information about what they are still resisting within themselves! (Of course, there’s also often a grain of truth in what they’re saying .

Over my relatively long life, I have learned not to care much what other people think of me, because I realize that for the most part they are just projecting their own stuff (i.e. crap  onto the screen that is available to them when I am around, which is me. If it “hurts my feelings,” that is just me reflexively taking they’re opinion to heart and, by doing so, hurting myself. I have observed that most hurt feelings are caused by misunderstandings that result from the over-interpretation of, and taking to heart, someone else’s projection! From this understanding, it is clear that nobody can really “hurt your feelings” … only you can do that … good news!

Now, how can I break this habit of being attached to what I think other people think? Emotional reactions arise so damn quickly! How do I intervene? How can I interject a flash of consciousness in order to remember that I am in the process of starting to over-interpret something that was a projection to begin with? It’s not easy being so attentive!

Ken Keyes wrote that taking offense creates more overall suffering in the world than the giving of offense. If I don’t take offense, then for sure at least I am not going to suffer! But I also do not create any karma if I don’t take that offense to heart. I don’t set a wheel of reaction/counter-reaction into motion, like turning a negative prayer wheel. If, on the other hand, I automatically react (i.e. over-react) emotionally to projections (including new projections made by myself), my ego will probably create more offense (via angry argument, condemnatory revenge, gossip, whatever).

Hey, Don Miguel … for the new year, I commit to getting better at not taking things personally! My own lack of awareness — the cause of all my automatic projecting — is something I can influence and change.

Just out of curiosity, what kinds of habits will you be focusing on in the new year?  Here’s wishing all of you a peaceful and successful 2010!

Not all victimness is self-made, and even though I focused on “victim consciousness,” I did not state that there are no true victims. Obviously, children can be abused or worse — and through no bad decisions of their own (maybe it’s their ‘bad karma’, payback for something they did in a past life, but that’s not our judgment to make).

At some point, each of us could be considered the ‘victim’ of our childhood upbringing, with all its shortcomings. For instance, if you learned from a narcissistic mother that you must be perfect in order to win a few crumbs of love, such a ‘core belief’ will handicap your life, giving you a greater challenge in giving and receiving love.

I personally like to think of this sort of victimness as ‘karmic,’ because I choose to believe that there is some sort of cosmic justice at work in the universe (and I think we choose all our beliefs). In any case, the good news is that such handicaps can be overcome … and perhaps get to ‘burn off’ some karma in the process!

We do have the power to become more conscious of who we are and learn to make better decisions, which will increase our success and happiness and steadily improve everything. I don’t think of self-improvement as a project so much as a way of life, a learning attitude.

But the point today is that there are real victims in life, including people we know or learn about through the media. So … what can we do? How much can we realistically do for them? What is the best attitude for us to develop?

Certainly, it is not one of blaming people for being victims. Blame is too easy and a nasty habit. It may make our egos feel slightly superior, but that pleasure comes with a steep price, for such egocentricity only produces bad karma for ourselves. The far more skillful choice is to practice compassion. But what is compassion? And how do we practice it?

In Buddhism, love is divided into three forms: loving kindness, sympathetic joy and compassion. Loving kindness is the driving force behind friendship and all forms of positive relating. Sympathetic joy is probably the rarest one of the three; it consists of feeling joyful about the good fortune of someone else! (In some Thai villages, they have the interesting custom of ringing the village bell and chanting something like “Good for you” whenever some major good comes to a household … sure beats envy!) Compassion, finally, is about being empathetic and helpful to those who are suffering, and governs all forms of charity and charitable work.

Does practicing compassion mean that we try to help everybody who seems to be in need of help? Some people try, but that’s a tall order! Obviously, one person cannot take care of everybody, not even everybody around them. So, the question becomes: Where and how do we draw the line? For one thing, how much time or money do we have to give?

Several years ago I lived in India for a year, where the suffering of throngs of people is highly visible. Every day I was in the city I would be constantly confronted by begging lepers, babies with mangled limbs, etc. It was extreme culture shock to say the least, just to live near a large Indian city. It put me face to face with overwhelming suffering, but what was I to do?

There was no way I could afford to give money to every beggar I came across (or, more accurately, who accosted me) and still take care of myself. On the other hand, realizing the spiritual importance of compassion, I didn’t want to become hardened to the suffering of humanity. My solution was to set myself a ‘compassion budget.’

Back in 1981, I didn’t have much in savings when I was that long-term volunteer for the Indra Devi Foundation in southern India. Nevertheless, I decided that I would hand out 10 rupees/day. That was my monetary solution for that place and that time, it gave me a way to give some money as well as my time.

This is the season when many of us are accustomed to think about what we can give. The time between Christmas and New Years is a wonderful week to take a little time to reflect on your relationship to the world, and consider what your Compassion Budget is going to be for next year. After all, with rising unemployment, bankruptcies and foreclosures, there are a lot of people who have been victimized by a system that’s been set up to highly reward greed.

Of course, as with all love, compassion starts at home, beginning with and for yourself. What are you willing to do to be more creative and free yourself from your own victimness tendencies? Or, focusing on attitude, what could you be more grateful for?

In terms of money, perhaps it feels like there is not enough available right now for you to create charity as a budget item.  But if not 10% of what you bring in, perhaps you could make it 5% or even 1%. Or considering that time is more valuable than money, perhaps you can volunteer. There is always something you can do to empathize with and help others to exercise your heart’s compassion muscle. It feels good!

Most victim stories, however, are mostly just that — just stories … tales that serve as an excuse, or a subconscious strategy of pretending to be powerless … when really we had the power to create the problems through a series of bad decisions we made and possibly continue to make. These victimness temptations represent a personal development opportunity.

What are the payoffs for feeling like a victim? Well, for starters, you get to feel that you are right (about being wronged). Nobody wants to argue with a victim, because that would seem mean. Secondly, to the extent that you argue for being a victim, you gain a terrific excuse for not making progress towards the realization of your personal priorities. And, in addition, taking the victim stance entitles you to sympathy from others.

What should you do if you realize that you are stuck in your own victim story? First, look inside yourself to see if you can analyze exactly what your personal victim stories are. In particular, figure out how you are getting “payoffs” — hidden benefits like those mentioned above.

All too often, victim stories are a con game played by our ego in order to justify efforts to stay in control — of ourselves, of others, of a situation. Since the ego’s function is primarily to protect us, it makes total sense that it feels a need to be in control. The only problem is the ego He tends to go too far, sometimes even to the extent of inventing reasons for its empowerment over our decision-making.

This is the human predicament and challenge — to have a healthy ego that can defend us when necessary, but also to regulate it wisely from a higher, spiritual vantage point. In short, taking refuge in victims stories  is a weak person’s form of not managing themselves very well.

It is important that we learn how to manage our egos, so that we do not get stuck  in the trap of self-righteous victimhood, where we fool ourselves into believing that there is nothing we can do to improve our situation, while blame it on others or fate, etc.

Sometimes it is hard to resist the siren call of victimhood, because it feels good, a little bit good  anyway… and sometimes we need some reassurance that our predicaments are not all our fault, and that we are not alone. Sympathy is not a terrible drug, but getting sympathy from others provides very temporary relief. Isn’t it better to face up to stories that we tell ourselves, feel the pain of this psychic surgery, and come out the other side free from habitual self-limiting thoughts?

Spinner dolphins are an endangered species, although they may be coming back due to slightly more sane tuna fishing methods. They like to jump completely out of the water and do fast acrobatic spins before doing a belly or back flop into the water. One possible reason is that males spin to attract females. Spinning may also be play. Individuals have been spotted completing at least 14 spinning jumps in quick succession. Just to make an impression, I tried to spin … not so good.

One has to swim quite far to reach the dolphins way out in the choppy bay. I’m a decent swimmer, but the biggest challenge is tiptoeing over 100 yards of razor sharp volcanic rock — in order to jump into the surf from same sharp rocks without getting hurt — with flippers on! Coming back in, riding up a wave surge to slide onto one small ledge in those sharp rocks is a nice little trick too.

The process of getting in and out of the water in that volcanic bay had sounded dangerous to me for years — and it is — but the waves were not too high and it was not as difficult as I had feared. It is, however, daunting enough to keep the average tourist at bay. Is this why the dolphins choose this  bay as a place to hang out in the morning? Do they understand this? I like to think so, and that my going through with this treacherous little adventure constitutes an initiation into their wild dolphin society!

Oh, it is very exciting to be near them (”not allowed to touch marine mammals,” Dolphin Dan — who I met in the middle of the bay — tells me). But would that I could find some greater closeness with my dizzying new friends! Whenever I get really close  — within a foot on several occasions — the temptation to reach out is strong if a little scary. These graceful creatures are basically my size. Oh, it’s all fine and legal if they touch you — but I get neither kiss nor nuzzle (let alone a little sonar blast . My inner teenage girl wants to connect with my own leaping spinner … after all, Dolphin Dan reportedly has HIS own special dolphin friend!

Now that they let me swim with them, I am dreaming that there could be a special dolphin for me too … a beautiful one who will beckon me and tease me and come to me, like a mermaid. (I’ve got my eye on a cute one I saw both days!) They’re supposed to have a brain as big as ours … I wonder how smart they really are? I haven’t seen them hunt, but they seem to have a fun lifestyle. They are very social (and, according to Wikipedia, known to successfully mate with other species . A least they are smart enough to keep a little distance from our species (except for that darn Dan .

Everyone likes to think that their feelings are trustworthy, but is it really true? To what extent is it a good idea to trust our feelings? I suspect it is much less often than we’d like to think.

Of course, it all depends on what kind of feelings we are talking about. Certainly, we cannot trust decisions we make when we are feeling fearful or anxious — neither should we when we are infatuated and flush with wishful thinking. One non-obvious rule of thumb that I’ve learned for myself — the stronger the feeling, the less trustworthy it is!

There is one kind of feeling that we CAN trust when it comes to making decisions, however. Ironically, it is the one that is hardest to notice. It is often called that “gut feeling” — aka intuition. It’s much more subtle and quiet than fear or lust, for instance, and almost impossible to perceive when these stronger feelings are in play. (Which is why humans are so terrible at making good decisions!)

Many people experience intuition as a feeling, but there are other ways that it can show up. How does the experience of intuition happen for you?

I was hoping that this book would help me understand how I might better use my Facebook page, but it goes much, much deeper than that. This book provides a magnificent explanation of how central and important our connections to others have always been, going back to the tribal. In addition, the authors posit that our need to be so connected in part explains our need for such a big brain.

It’s fascinating to understand how our tastes, our habits and our decisions are influenced by people we’ve never met, but this book explains how that works — how if a friend of a friend starts drinking or stops smoking that can affect you. They’ve proven it with amazing analysis of extensive social network data. Such is the power of social networks. My favorite quote that the book cites is by Erik Hoffer, which goes “When people are given the freedom to do as they choose, they usually imitate each other.” Ain’t that the truth!

This book is going to help me be more mindful of this living “super-organism” — the social network — how it supports me and how I can use it to support myself and others altruistically.

Do you have any ideas on how a divination site like Tarot.com — where millions of people access divination systems every week — could provide more connections for people? What might that look like?

Instead (hugely helped by US loans to dictators that bankrupted the place), it is becoming more like India. Crumbline infrastructure, run-down neighborhoods (even this best one), high commercial vacancies, serious levels of street crime even in the best neighborhood (i.e. where I am staying in a ‘luxury condo’ for $110/night … the dollar is strong here … and having a little washing machine does make traveling light so much more pleasant . But nothing works very well. No good systems, including things like electronically posted gate information and times at the airport. ATM’s can run out of cash for days. And security is everywhere. You must even be buzzed in to a restaurant, because the doors (to everything including shops) are locked even when they are open for business (fear of looting, I’m told). Unemployment is high, the peso is down, and even though they are warm and lovely, the people seem to be economically dispirited. Not much gets done and things run down a little more every day.

Every American should come here and see where we could be headed if we don’t pull together under honest leadership and good governance, the foundations of civilization.

I will have been here for 2 weeks, and I have been enjoying life in Buenos Aires. I hired a lovely spanish tutor/tour guide named ‘Mercedes’ from day 1, and ‘yo estoy aprendiendo espanol muy rapido’. I love the latin people and have had a great time socially. My business here is primarily to support the Indra Devi Foundation, ‘Mataji’ Indra Devi having been my primary spiritual teacher (I lived with her in India for one year) in this lifetime (she died here in BA at 103). I’ve given four or five talks at her various yoga centers.

Mataji was known as “the first lady of yoga” and she loved the latin people (as do I). Even though she was 90 years old, she was big down here. Everybody knows her. My work here has been hugely gratifying, for me to contribute a little bit … and how reinforcing it has been for me to be intimately reminded of what I learned from Mataji — especially her linkage of love and non-attachment. (Her foundation here is at www.fundacion-indra-devi.org).

I just got back from a one day round trip flight to Iguazu Falls … considered more spectacular than Niagara. I’ve yet to see Niagara, but you might want to look at this place on the internet … it is a natural wonder of the world. Gotta run now …

Tell us anything you know about Argentina!

She  brought yoga to Hollywood around 1950 and among her famous clients were several prominent actress, including Gloria Swanson. At her age of 81 I met Mataji at a meditation retreat center in California, little knowing that this old woman would turn out to be one of my own greatest teachers — not only for yoga (at which I suck) but for spiritual training. Through the grace of divine providence, I was soon  to spend one year as her personal assistant in India (1981/82).

Here in Argentina, I am visiting the centers that she founded in the late 1980’s (6 of them) and which bear her name to this day (she passed on at age 103 in 2002). I was invited here to tell of my experiences with this great saint. To sum it up, I just quote her primary formula — one which she repeated in almost every one of the thousands of discourses she gave in her life — that is, the relationship between love and non-attachment.

Most of us associate love with a feeling that includes loads of attachment. But not Mataji. She taught the eternal truth that true love is without selfish attachment. I like to put it like this: “If I love you, it to the extent that I support your ability to love yourself, to have what YOU want” (i.e. not in how you give what I may want from you).

Some people refer to this as “unconditional love” … I just call it rooting with all your heart for good to come to the other, whether that good has anything to do with me or not. Mataji taught me this as a young man — not only via her words, but in the way I saw her live it out day by day. As they say, this woman truly “walked her talk.”

In the eyes of the world, she gave up so much — a life of luxury and fame as an actress. But in her mind, she simply let the superficial things fall away in favor of a higher love. May we all be able to do the same when the time for change comes!

Everybody has had significant teachers or mentors in their lives, or experiences of love with non-attachment. Please … tell us about one of yours!

Sanders give us the background for our tendency for escapism, wherein we would usually rather imbibe the shadow images of film (via movies and tv) more than we care to FEEL our bodies, our feelings, all of our senses. As a result, he says we have become largely disembodied creatures, losing what he refers to as a “haptic” sense of life (I love learning new words .

“Unsuspecting Souls: The Disappearance of the Human Being” is the history of how humanity lost its bearings — how we had an identity-crisis, if you will — in and throughout the 19th century. It is an extremely readable and fascinating history of the period, as well as an examination of how the trends that took hold then are still plaguing us now. We have been steadily losing our souls — i.e. that which defines us as ‘human’ — and the process has only been accelerating since 1800, especially since the dawn of moving pictures.

This is the story of the rise of science (and opposing it, fundamentalist strains of religion clinging to the church’s “divine order” of things), the industrial revolution with all of its dehumanizing effects, plus a cornucopia of time and labor-saving inventions — including the clock, rapid transportation, telephone, camera, motion pictures, amusement parks and automatic weapons. Worst of all, we had the experience of violent mass carnage of an extent the world had never seen, taking place right here on American soil, via the Civil War in which the equivalent of what would be 6 million Americans today slaughtered each other.

Meanwhile, the literature of the period reflected the de-souling of human beings, with almost every major author producing works that featured ghosts, the “undead,” man-made monsters, etc. as well as popular strains of “spiritualism” arising to promote contact with spirits unseen via seances, psychics, etc. Adding to the hallucinating quality of the period was the synthesis in the west of opium, heroin, cocaine, nitrous oxide, ether — all of which were extolled by the leading minds of the time as gateways for mystical experiences and the meaning of life — promoted by the same authors and Sigmund Freud himself.

It is a fascinating period, rendered all the more intriguing by the author’s meticulously researched details, presented in the form of true and almost unbelievable vignettes, that reads like an adventure story. What a catalyzing time was this!

This is not a book that can easily be boiled down. It is a profound work that deals with what are essentially spiritual issues. Who (or what) are we? What is the difference between being alive and “having a life” (and how is the concept of “having a life” a natural byproduct of becoming a “human resource,” a cog in a soul-crushing machine)? When does human life begin? How can we conquer death by prolonging life (our ongoing preoccupation, as opposed to returning to a celebration of the natural ‘human’ aspects of life)? What does it mean to be alive? What does it mean to be human? Listen to my Pathways interview to hear our fascinating discussion on these topics!

We all want success. But the word means different things to different people. In other words, we want success on our own terms. So … what does success mean for you? Have you consciously defined success for yourself yet? (No? Well, get on it!

Success can take many forms. It is entirely personal. Your definition of success depends completely upon whatever you value most highly — not what anyone else wants (or even what most people want). The true story of my  cousin Lennie illustrates the point brilliantly, for Lennie defined success for himself and has been living his unique dream for fifteen years now.

Lennie sold his barber shop business 17 years ago and purchased  12 acres in the Leelanau County, Michigan — a few miles from the village where he grew up (and where I spent wonder-filled summers running through the woods and catching turtles in the lake as a child). Leelanau County is a beautiful part of the world, a freshwater wonderland –a peninsula surrounded by Lake Michigan that contains three large lakes within itself.

Cousin Lennie lives in a house that he built himself with some help from friends near beautiful Lake Leelanau. He built his own passive-solar home into the south side of a hill, using wood that he harvested from trees that had been growing on that same hill, producing beautiful ash wood for floors and paneling. An avid fisherman, he dug out two large ponds for trout, which receive fresh flowing cold water from the large Artesian spring he discovered on the property.

Not only does he fish, but Lennie hunts. But not for sport. He eats what he catches. This means plenty of venison, stored for consumption year round. His life requires lots of work, but it has a beautiful simplicity and Lennie is remarkably self-sufficient. His utility bills are almost nil and he lives on less than $10,000/year, mostly from working one day per week in his friend’s barber shop.

On a recent visit, my friend Robert, Lennie and I caught some 30 perch in Lake Leelanau in two hours (Lennie knows where they live . After that Robert and I took Lennie golfing at the funky but beautiful Lake Leelanua Club. Then we foraged Lennie’s huge garden for organic corn, salad and veggies. That evening we all cooked dinner, consisting of food that was all freshly caught or picked the same day … what a feast!

Lennie still works hard. He has little monetary income for having traded off business activity for living close to the land in an organic, non-wasteful way. But he has no regrets. For him, all the tradeoffs are totally worth his independence and self-sufficiency, which is what he values most highly in life. It’s a simple life, a happy life and, yes, a true success .

According to his own priorities, his own hierarchy of values, Lennie is a success, even though he hardly thought of it that way until Robert and I — who both have been entrepreneurial workaholics — pointed out to him what a monumental success story his really is.

How clear are you about your hierarchy of values, what is most important to you? For this is what will determine how successful you are — not how much money you make or what kinds of things you own (on credit, no less). Examine the satisfactions of your life … you may be more successful than you thought!

Recently, I sat down to interview Maridel Bowes, the author of the new book Who are You Calling Grandma? — True Confessions of a Baby Boomer’s Passage. In this book, she traces her sometimes conflicting feelings during her daughter-in-law’s 9 month pregnancy as well as after the birth itself. After all, even though they sit on the sidelines during gestation, grandmas have feelings (and opinions) to, and a real adjustment to make.

While the culture paints you as a grinning, shopping fool (which you may be , reality has it that preparing to “Become Grand” is a complex psychological passage. As Maridel shows us, it has some devilish underpinnings and whacky outposts. What if you don’t feel ready? Really and truly don’t like “The Name?” Need a name of your own that doesn’t start with “G”? Get a bit crazy at the thought of Christmas arrangements? Have strong opinions that aren’t all that interesting to the couple in power? etc, etc.

I remember my own grandparents so fondly that I found it interesting to learn how much of a passage it can be for my generation, we who are used to doing things our own new ways. In fact, I just turned a grandpa myself — with less, but some, of the same issues. (For instance, I like the “G” word — except in public .

It turned out in talking between ourselves after taping the interview that Maridel is a Tarot.com member.  Go, granny, go!

P.S.  This and 100 other interviews can be listed to on Divination.com.

I’ve just never understood the sense in the phrase “believe in”, which is what I consider the fuzziness part. Many people seem quite proud to say they “believe in God” or “freedom” or “love”, even though they cannot define what they mean by any of these things.

A belief is a series of thoughts that form a conclusion about something or the way something works. They are not just symbols, or dreams of the imagination. To “believe in” something, anything, is to give mental power to that symbol. There is nothing inherently wrong with doing this, but it is certainly not a commitment worth fighting (or dying) for.

Nevertheless, symbols have powerful and passionate effects on the subconscious mind — and people get riled up about defending their particular favorite symbols. Talk radio, Rush Limbaugh and the Bill O’Reilly’s of the world make a fortune stirring up outrage, day after day — which can lead to violent acts by some of their listeners — getting people riled up about the supposed defilement of some sacred symbol (the flag, anyone?) — all for the sake of higher media ratings. (I think this kind of rabble-rousing is really anti-democratic.)

Symbols, which represent feelings or fantasies, are not beliefs. Being passionate about the simplest of ideas does not make them more profound, or developed enough to be considered “beliefs”, whether you profess to “believe in” them or not. This takes us right back to the importance of consciously choosing your own beliefs (as well as how the fuzziness of  language can support the fuzziness of thinking).

My answer to those businessmen? “No belief is required to benefit from divination. It’s like meditation. Try it. If it works (in the case of divination, to stimulate your intuition to think outside the box you were in), it has done its job. You don’t have to ‘believe in’ anything.”

For centuries there have been serious, often violent, conflicts between those who maintained that we are ’saved’ on account of the correctness of our beliefs (judged by who here on earth, I wonder) — recursively including the belief  that we will be ’saved’ by someone else like a messiah (Jesus, for instance). An opposing camp maintains that we are only really ’saved’ by our own good works. This has been an ongoing debate within  christianity for centuries. The fact that people are willing to get violent about such differences of opinion goes to the heart of how much power humans have traditionally given, and continue to give over to their belief systems — religious and otherwise.

The point here is not so much how powerfully motivating emotion-backed beliefs can be (the effectiveness of placebos certainly proves this) but considering that power, how important it is to be an adult and consciously decide what beliefs make sense to you, lest you get manipulated.

Never feel that you have to commit yourself to one way of thinking forever. What makes sense to YOU right now? — including how has what I have been believing been limiting me — is the recurring question for every intelligent  being who wants to be deeply happy or successful on their own terms.

Unless we allow our beliefs (i.e. our operating assumptions) to be subject to questioning and revision in the face of new learning, those beliefs may be worth a lot to our masters but be of no value to our own soul. If you allow yourself to be coerced into committing to any belief system or ideology, you shall not be saved for that — you shall only be manipulated (perhaps with the promise of being saved).

Let’s stop worrying about what other think and allow our own beliefs to evolve. Trust yourself. Even if it feels ’sinful’ to doubt your beliefs because of the way you’ve been fearfully brought up, feel the fear and do it anyway. Changing your mind is a good thing — in fact, it’s a necessary ingredient of every miracle. To the extent we become more ‘reality-based’, we will get better results in the real world … and I can attest that does seem miraculous!

We don’t have time to defend rickety old belief systems that don’t make sense any more (2012 is coming . Nor in a free society should we have to defend ourselves against those who insist that we support their tired delusions. Beliefs and ideologies are not so important, except to the power-hungry, manipulative ego. They’re certainly not nearly as important as whatever promotes Love, whatever works for both our personal and the common Good.

Let us review our beliefs then. Put them in their place, appreciate them for what they are — provisional placeholders — and get real!

(There is a whole chapter on beliefs and how to choose them in my book Divination available at Amazon, etc.)

So I believe in reincarnation, but I would certainly never fight over any disagreements about it. I would never go to war with Christians or atheists who deny reincarnation. I guess you could say that my belief in reincarnation has not risen to the level of a “conviction.” And, as we have all learned from the story of martyrs, the strongest convictions are the ones you’d be willing to die for.

Call me a coward, but I’m not willing to die for any belief that I have. I can’t prove any of them. I choose to believe them because they work for me and that’s that. Obviously, many of of my beliefs, which are super progressive, are not working for others who will not even consider them. They’re working for me now, but I don’t know if they’ll be working for me later. If you gave me the choice to die or shift beliefs (for a while), I’d shift in a heartbeat because they wouldn’t be working for me then … and beliefs are not so important, at least not to me any more.

Yes, that’s right … I’m saying that beliefs are not worth fighting for. Hardly any of them can be proven. At best they are our operating assumptions, subject to change as we learn things … at worst, they are prejudicial opinions … socalled Fox News and talk radio are primarily about the vitriolic spewing of scary or hateful opinions.

A “conviction” is a belief on steroids. Ironically, we consider it to be a positive trait when someone holds “strong convictions” … this was one of the complimentary things often said about G.W.Bush. But I don’t look at it as a positive thing at all. In fact, I consider strong convictions to be a type of learning disorder! The stubborn unwillingness to look at things in different ways and learn new facts is nothing to be proud of and has gotten us into deep economic and social trouble.

Usually, people of conviction go there because they are addicted to feeling that they are ‘right’, or that they are going to be saved, or something like that. (Buddhism saves us from needing to be saved, except by our own karmic merits . And the righteous cannot get really nasty about it — when they start trying to impose their belief system onto others.

Just because you feel really strongly about a belief doesn’t make it any more true, even if the tradition of your family’s religious identification goes back thousands of years. Getting all excited about the righteousness of your particular operating assumptions is silly. Instead, why not study the historical origins of your belief system or religion, something which is never taught in the churches of the world.

Re-examine whatever you believe in, over and over, and let your current opinions always be subject to change. Changing your mind — in spite of the bad reputation that stubborn believers give it — is a VERY good thing. You just don’t have to let your learning be limited by what you were taught to believe by your parents and other well-meaning people of conviction. You’re smart. You can be bigger than that. Comments?

The book influenced me to practice more the art of unconditional Acceptance — for the conditions and limitations that I find myself and others coming up against.

I really enjoyed the responses to that blog, which brought up a couple interesting points.

As I said in my last blog, “Unfortunately, you can’t change your current karma, because it is based on choices you made in the past. You have to play the hand you are dealt. But you can make better choices going forward and improve your lot in the future …” Somebody replied that one is not just stuck with the karma of past choices and actions, karma can be changed or “expiated” in this very lifetime.

Actually, I am of the same belief. I think that when I practice virtues (like patience, which is a hard one for me), I am canceling the need for some small portion of karmic “lessons” I was somehow scheduled for. (I know this is pretty vague, but I won’t pretend to have ’secret’ proof.) Interestingly, the Catholics believe in a space they call “purgatory” where one goes to be somehow purified before being let into the pearly gates of heaven, so maybe my belief was influenced by my Catholic upbringing (although I now consider myself “spiritual, not religious”).

Whether it’s true or not, whether it can ever be proved or not, this is a belief that I find constructive — because it promotes virtuous behavior, which I am convinced produces good karma (i.e. positive results). I also believe that we choose our beliefs and can change them whenever we feel the evidence warrants a change. To be unable to change one’s mind — to take one’s beliefs as absolute “convictions” — is nothing less than a learning disability, in my opinion.

We assume that the most successful people are those who are both a) extremely brilliant and talented and b) who work their ass off (dharma). But Gladwell’s book more or less proves that there is another factor that is just as large, if not larger — being in the right place at the right time!

For instance, Bill Gates is super intelligent, and he put in way over 10,000 hours of computing before he even went to college, but if he had not been born in 1955 and gone to one of the only middle schools in the world at the time that had the luxury of unlimited free computer time, he would not have had the chances he worked so hard — staying up all night as a teenager — to take advantage of.

There are many other examples in the book that demonstrate how when and where someone was born and raised makes all the difference. Being really smart and prepared — 10,000 hours is what Gladwell posits it takes to master any skill — is only half the battle. Yes, you have to be prepared, but you also have to “get lucky.” You need to be in the right place at the right time, so that you are prepared for your outsized opportunities, and then you have to make the right moves at the right time.

Unfortunately, you can’t change your current karma, because it is based on choices you made in the past. You have to play the hand you are dealt. But you can make better choices going forward and improve your lot in the future (divination can help). What do you think? And are you putting in  your 10,000 hours?

Shannonine’s astute observation was that, as much as I wished that MJ could have been saved from his self-destruction, neither myself nor anyone else “would have been able to change or lead MJ on a better path unless he sincerely wanted that.” How true this is … thank you!

As much as we might like to — and as hard as we might try, we cannot really rescue anybody else. Shannonine also tells her story of trying to help her boyfriend get counseling to save himself, but she failed, even though she feels he is her ‘soulmate.’ I can identify with this heart-wrenching tale, as I’m sure many of us who have loved people who are actually unavailable – if only for their own mysterious emotional reasons (it’s so hard for us to let go when we can’t understand what we are dealing with).

As much as you love someone, sometimes you cannot bridge the distance that other person insists on maintaining. It is as if people have a need to repeat old patterns over and over until they can finally see (maybe in the next lifetime ) what they are doing, so that they can make a different choice.

My desire to have been able to influence MJ may have been inspired by compassion — as well as admiration for his beautiful message as an artist — but it was totally a fantasy – because Shannonine is right. There is nothing any individual can do to help someone who is so caught in addiction or depression, unless they ‘bottom out’ and ask for help (before they commit suicide). As Shirley said on June 29, “ I agree with Angel and Linda … it is not possible to change people, only to hope that they will improve.”

My desire to help others is based on the experience of empathy. I know that we are all much more alike than we are different. In spite of the great lengths people go to in order to feel (and act)  “special” – tatooing themselves all over, going into debt to imitate the rich and famous, trying to act like celebrities (on myface, etc), dancing with the stars in our head, projecting our narcissistic fantasies onto professional entertainers like MJ – in spite of all this, none of us is all that “special” (except perhaps Barack Obama . Babies are special … that’s it, nobody else! Come to think of it, MJ kind of stayed a baby all his life … the way he talked, pretending he was Peter Pan with the children. He embodied infantile “specialness” for all of us, and all of our inner children who maybe were not allowed to ever feel very special. (And he sure could sing and dance!)

How can you save someone from a fate such as his? Unfortunately, you just can’t. When a child did not receive the special love he was entitled to, well … that is hard damage to repair. It would require lots of counseling at the very least, which is the last thing someone with a narcissistic personality disorder is willing to even consider.

Nevertheless, it’s hard to accept the self-destruction of loved ones. And it’s so hard to walk away. (I just read a great book on this subject entitled “Narcissistic Lovers” … wow. More on that later.) But we can take some refuge in a faith that we live in an ultimately loving universe, where cosmic justice ultimately reigns and everything balances out in the end. Considering how much good Michael Jackson’s artistic spirit did in the world, I’m not worried about him any more!

It is impossible to deny that Michael Jackson was able to channel more creative power (the first hexagram of the I Ching) — via his music and performing — than probably anyone in history. But what about the ‘yin’ side of his life’s equation? I was very struck by the interview of Deepak Chopra, who was a confidante of Michael’s, on the Olbermann show (you can see it on Youtube). It is profoundly moving.

Being addicted to drugs, as Michael evidently was, is an attempt to self-soothe, and actually reflects the Love Archetype — its passive ’shadow’ pole. To oversimplify, the addict is in love with the feeling rather than other people (who, because of childhood abuse, represent danger to him). Deepak shares some deep insight into the issues that this creative genius, Michael Jackson, had to suffer in his seemingly glamorous life.

May we be creative but also go for balance in our own lives. I wish I could have introduced Michael Jackson to the I Ching divination system (as seen on Tarot.com). I wish I had had the access to him that Deepak had (even though I’m sure Deepak gave him great advice that he didn’t take). I am sure that better decision-making — spiritual decision-making — along with massive amounts of counseling, could have helped him find himself before it was too late.

Before being settled by Vikings over 1000 years ago, there were no indigenous peoples here, and the only native mammal was the arctic fox (I wonder how he got there?) . It’s hard to overestimate the hardiness of the first Icelanders, pioneers in the extreme! One hero of Iceland is Leif Erickson, known as ‘Leif the Lucky’, the very first European to discover North America.

In spite of its name, Iceland is warmed by Atlantic currents and was quite mild during the mid-June days I was there. And, in June this is a very bright place – it is light outside from 3 AM until midnight.

Tarot.com played an key role in my taking a stopover in Reykavik on my way back to New York from Denmark. When I was booking the round-trip via Icelandic Airways, I was engaged by a very friendly booking agent — a woman who, as I discovered in conversation, was a fan of the Tarot. This fact naturally brought up my founding of a website that features Tarot. In addition, just before I would arrive, she was scheduled to see the Dalai Lama in Denmark, who would also visit Iceland, where she would see him again. Like her, I consider myself a Buddhist and had visited the Dalai Lama in his home in India years ago.

In the midst of this rather animated flight-booking conversation, I persuaded her to set me up with a one day stopover in Iceland, let me take her out to dinner, and show me around a bit (that’s Venus in Gemini for you) … and it was fun visiting another capital of Europe, thanks to my new friend, Elin!

In addition to the exquisite cuisine, I felt abundantly privileged to feel a part of an extended family that is so alive and free in their loving regard for one other. Having come from a troubled family, I can see the link between their joyful relatedness and the enduring love that my two friends, the parents, have sustained in their marriage over 25 years, which is still very much alive. Not only are parents like this such a blessing for children … but the enduring passionate love between a man and a woman is a rare blessing for the whole world in my opinion.

So real is the tender regard and high esteem in which Caspar and Dorthe continue to hold each other, it is easy to see. And how beautifully their love shines through in the warmth and maturity and good humor of their offspring Joon, Theis and Maya!

Twenty-eight years ago I met Dorthe in an ashram in India and we traveled to visit a few other ashrams together, a few years before she tied the knot with Caspar. She told me about this man she was getting to know back home in Denmark. As a friend, my intuition told me it was karmically correct for her to complete the cycle with Caspar.

Twenty-eight years later, I am grateful that I have been alive long enough to witness and learn from such a profound long-term relationship cycle that I am witness to here. For 25 years, in a partnership consisting of two artists, this couple has held it together, sustained their affection for each other, and raised three healthy, intelligent and positive young adults. All I can say is “Bravo … there is hope for love!”