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Year of the Ox

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This year’s Ox shakes off the shifty Rat
Happy Lunar New Year! Most of us are not sorry to see the last year end. The global pandemic impacted the lives of every person on the planet, along with unprecedented political turmoil, economic decline and social unrest. Though it was the Chinese Year of the Rat—generally considered a year of renewal and change with opportunities for success in new ventures—2020 felt tumultuous and tragic, as if driven by the worst kind of rat.

Thankfully the end of this Rat Year is fast approaching. The Year of the Ox begins on February 12, 2021. The Divination Foundation normally throws an annual lunar new year’s party and though we can’t do it this year, we can still celebrate new energy!

The Ox is a beneficent beast, second in the progression of the Chinese zodiac, like its cousin Taurus in the West. According to ancient folklore, the Jade Emperor said that the order of the zodiac should be determined by when the animals arrived at his party. The generous Ox agreed to give the wily Rat a ride on its back, but just as they were arriving, the Rat jumped off of the Ox and scampered in as the first to the party.

Unlike the shifty Rat, the Ox is grounded, loyal, gentle and trustworthy. It is considered an animal of strength and is associated with fertility and harvests. The Ox is widely represented in religion, art, literature and popular culture throughout east Asia, likely due to its importance in agriculture. In Buddhism, the ox signifies “Buddha nature,” the fundamental state of all beings and their innate potential for awakening.

As the Korean proverb says, “It is a bad plowman that quarrels with his ox.” Ox can seem ornery and slow, appearing to accomplish little after long hours of labor. However, duty, discipline and hard work are necessary for success.

The world went through radical change in 2020, though not in some ways we might have hoped. Despite its challenges, this past year of the Rat brought us the opportunity to change the world for the better. Drawing on the Ox’s balance, stability and steadfast determination, we can persevere and work toward solving our problems steadily, one by one. In this way, we shall reap blessings in this new year.

Divination Foundation’s favorite local opera singer, Jocelyn, holding an apple with the Chinese word for “blessings.”

Resolutions this year? Maybe not.

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As we enter into a new year, the tradition is to make resolutions to accomplish some things that we were perhaps unable to do in the past: lose weight, save money, quit smoking, eat better, get organized, learn a language, start a meditation/yoga/exercise regime, etc.

However, 2020 has been a year of change and loss unlike any other in our lifetime. The global COVID pandemic has impacted every person on the planet, and will continue to be part of our lives for 2021 as well. While we’re all in this together, it’s also important to acknowledge that the impact is unique for each of us, and some are suffering a lot more than others. If the pandemic is an ocean, we may all be in it together, but some are in a yacht and others are in a leaky rowboat, or even a life preserver. Gratitude for staying afloat at all is an important part of facing—and bracing for—the new year ahead. (Let’s resolve to be grateful!)

Given the extraordinary circumstances we’re living through now, I suggest a new approach to standard New Year’s resolutions: focus on radical self-acceptance and letting go of expectations. While setting intention is generally a good practice for manifesting new goals, now may not be the best time to be overly strict with yourself. Instead, let self-compassion be the order of the day.

It’s easy to look back on 2020 and find fault with yourself or your choices. It’s easy to judge and blame yourself when fearful thinking so contagious. Maybe you lost a job or a business and couldn’t figure out how to “pivot” into success during a pandemic. Or perhaps you didn’t excel at being a tutor for your kid’s distance learning, or gained some weight, stopped exercising, or turned to a bottle of wine every night for comfort. At the beginning of the pandemic, you may have thought you finally had the time to tackle those home improvements you were putting off, only to find the paint is still peeling at the end of the year. Setbacks like these can be depressing—and hard on the immune system—if you beat yourself up about them.

Having survived a terribly difficult year and coming out of it intact is a success story in itself. Let yourself off the hook for a bit, and forgive yourself for shortcomings. Our society’s constant push for achievement can be harmful in the best of times, so perhaps settling in to hibernating this winter can provide you the space and comfort to make the best of 2021…regardless of big accomplishments you might be able to take credit for. Now is a time to focus on taking care of your heart and listening to your soul.

Wishing you a happy, sane, and healthy New Year.
Paulo

Let the I Ching Guide You Through Uncertainty

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We live in an age of high anxiety, perhaps higher than ever during a pandemic. Humans have always had plenty of reasons to feel insecure, but things seem qualitatively different now. Rapid change, and the uncertainty that accompanies it, have accelerated to chaotic levels. As of this writing, during the worldwide coronavirus pandemic and massive social justice demonstrations, we are collectively experiencing fears of a cascading health and economic catastrophe while worrying for a rise in infections among protestors. The pandemic is both slowing us down and accelerating change in new—and hopefully healthier—ways.

Rapidly shifting conditions require new strategies while they offer new opportunities. In the process, we are challenged, as always, to make beneficial choices and skillful decisions. This is where an authentic divination system like the I Ching can help us on an individual level.

Responsible decision-making is arguably the single most important human activity, but it is stressful. We are the only species that can visualize different possible outcomes following from different choices we might make. The quality and good timing of our decisions determines, more than anything else we can do, our success and happiness in life, our ability to survive and hopefully thrive through the cultivation of empathy and a higher more inclusive consciousness.

Even though human beings have this amazing capacity, decision-making is risky and we are not very good at it. We can so easily be too emotional and impulsive or, conversely, overly analytical and procrastinating. So, what can we do to make life’s pivotal decisions more wisely? How can we be smarter about it? The I Ching can help us approach decision-making with calm intention, while gaining more insight into the potential directions you can go. The I Ching is an amazing tool for intuitive decision-making, but what’s wrong with good old-fashioned logic and rational information analysis?

Ever since the Renaissance in the 1600s, the western world has glorified reason and looked to scientific rationalism for the solution to most problems. The assumption was: sufficient data in, good answers out. With the recent dawning of the Information Age—with instant access to virtually unlimited data—it was surmised that logical decision-making would become easier as well as more convenient.

Well, think again. In the process of weighing pros and cons, analyzing statistics, applying probability theory, or toying with computer models, logical analysis is only as good as the quality of the information available. And there’s the rub.

We’ve got too much information, and it’s become virtually impossible to differentiate the reliable from the fake. And even the information we accept as true now has a shorter shelf life, because rapid change makes current information obsolete, and more quickly than ever. We have to stay on our toes. Logical decision-makers often put off decisions while awaiting more information, making themselves liable to miss increasingly short-lived windows of opportunity. Good and timely decisions are a balancing act and an art. So how do we determine which portions of available information are true or meaningful so that we can make the decisions that need to be made? The answer is not to be found in our minds, but in our hearts, in our intuition.

Good decision-making is more an art than a science. Having harnessed powerful computers and artificial intelligence—the ultimate models of left-brain processing—we have become aware of the limitations of left-brained information processing and we are beginning to appreciate a mode of perceiving that is more holistic, that sometimes approaches mystical realization, such as we can get from an I Ching reading.

Since the revelations of quantum physics a century ago, the perceived gap between the empirical and the mystical has been closing. Major credit for bringing these two camps within hailing distance goes to the Swiss-born father of depth psychology, Carl Jung, who introduced the West to the idea of meaningful coincidence, or “synchronicity”—one of the most practical mystical concepts ever, which depends so entirely on intuitive intelligence in order to be useful.

Jung’s work in general provides a backdrop for any serious exploration of intuition. He fearlessly explored the territory connecting scientific inquiry with a person’s inner experience, including what he recognized as a spiritual dimension of consciousness (in deference to scientific nomenclature, he called it the Collective Unconscious). He highlighted the importance of symbolism for psychology—suggesting that symbols point to a deeper truth—and counseled us to interpret and learn from our own unique set of inherited or adopted archetypes.

In a 1952 essay entitled “Synchronicity, An Acausal Connecting Principle,” Jung contrasted the western mindset—influenced by early Greek philosophers who focused on logical details—with the eastern perspective, which focused on the whole big picture, with each part and every detail sharing the qualities of the whole gestalt. Jung’s essay was derived from his introduction to the first mass produced version of the I Ching, the translation by Richard Wilhem and Cary Baynes.

To Jung, the eastern approach that transcended mere logic better described the mysterious workings of the human psyche. It also provided a more contemplative and holistic viewpoint. Jung pointed to a power of discernment that can take advantage of “the irrational functions of consciousness … that is, sensation AND intuition.”

When it comes to making skillful decisions, the question arises: Should we just trust whatever feelings come up? Or are there systematic ways to go deeper and access intuitive intelligence? Fortunately, a number of people—including prominent scientists and business leaders—have rediscovered the ancient Chinese technology for intuitive decision-making and creativity: the I Ching.

The I Ching, since its Western revival in the 1960s, has been dismissed as “new age” in the popular media. It is, however, anything but new—having been used by emperors, sages, and ordinary people in China for over 3000 years. Today, this oracle is more and more commonly put to practical use by creative counselors and their more highly aware clients.

Jung was enchanted with the I Ching due to the way it seemed to put individual psychological elements in context, as part of a seamless whole. “There is no need of any criteria which imposes conditions and restricts the wholeness of the natural process… In the I Ching, the coins fall just as happens to suit them.”

Traditionally when a person consulted the I Ching, they drew sticks or tossed coins and recorded the results as a 6-line pattern called a hexagram, which was then interpreted from a book. Now there are online readings, a Visionary I Ching app, and our latest production: the Visionary I Ching Deck featuring 64 beautifully illustrated cards with original watercolors by Joan Larimore, along with a booklet of interpretations. But regardless of the format you use to derive a hexagram reading, you may wonder how any sort of truth could be divined from seeming happenstance.

Two Chinese sages, King Wen and the Duke of Chou, devised the I Ching oracle some 4,000 years ago to strengthen the connection between the psychic and the material realms. An individual seeking insight and advice approaches the I Ching prepared to resonate inwardly with one of its sixty-four archetypal patterns. As Jung put it, the I Ching oracle interprets an “inner unconscious knowledge that corresponds to the state of consciousness at the moment.” In other words, it stimulates our intuitive intelligence.

Intuition exists outside the stream of ordinary thinking consciousness and can present itself in many ways—from a vague hunch to a fully developed vision. It may arrive as a mathematical equation, as an invention or as simply a hunch about the best path to take. And so it is that an answer to a long-unsolved quandary can seem to just pop into our heads. But events oozing with connective portent that have no apparent causal relationship are hardly random. Something in the external world triggered inner knowledge, and the two realities intersect within our working mind. The I Ching offers us a way to reliably produce this phenomenon of meaningful coincidence.

Not only did the I Ching fascinate psychologist Carl Jung, it also attracted the attention of his fellow scientists, the famous physicists Werner Heisenberg and Albert Einstein. Heisenberg, discoverer of the Uncertainty Principle, even had the yin-yang symbol representing the binary polarity of the I Ching’s 64 patterns added to his family’s coat-of-arms.

A more recent example from the world of business is an old friend of mine, Paul Wenner, a successful entrepreneur who had a cause. In 1985, he founded Gardenburger, Inc. to provide a healthy vegetarian fast-food alternative. Much sweat equity and thousands of decisions later, Gardenburger rose to become the world’s fastest growth stock in 1994. Today Paul is a multimillionaire, the author of a major book on vegetarianism and a booklet entitled Ten Secrets to Success.

A surprising number of people in the Western world use the I Ching at work as well as at home. Years ago, I consulted the I Ching often, as the single parent of a teenage boy! The I Ching software program named Synchronicity—developed by my first company, Visionary Software—was surprisingly popular in the business world when it first came out. One customer said he was able to close a three-million-dollar because of using the I Ching program to reorient himself during lengthy negotiations. He consulted the oracle on his PC before every meeting, to center himself and stimulate his intuition. The I Ching is a great way to prepare for negotiations and support critical decision-making—whether with a potential business partner … or a teenager testing boundaries.

This age of massive uncertainty we’re living through is stimulating greater fear and anxiety every day, leading to confusion, mistrust, cynicism, stress and plenty of bad decisions. It is no wonder we seek answers that can guide us through the morass of misinformation and propaganda. Parched for guidance and wisdom, it continues to be my intention to help people realize how tools of ancient wisdom like the I Ching can provide clarity, increased insight, and wisdom, while supporting our most important skill—intuitive, timely and wise decision-making. By helping me do this since I was 19 years old, the I Ching has enriched my life in every aspect.

visionary I Ching cards and guidebook

Trust Your Intuition in Response to Corona

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Imagine an invisible enemy that can invade and destroy your body, unwittingly brought to you by a friend. It’s as if we are living a horror movie, and nobody knows the ending. It’s a strange movie and the popcorn tastes of hand sanitizer.

Nothing unsettles our security more than the threat of a deadly virus sneaking up on us. Together, we are experiencing an unprecedented level of uncertainty; a season of suffering that sometimes feels like it may never end. Around the world, people feel their lives in a stranglehold, stalked and stymied by an invisible and deadly enemy.

As we face social isolation, financial loss and a dangerous beast, it’s easy to feel powerless; but choosing our outlook can help us get through this. In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl wrote, “When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves . . . Everything can be taken from a human but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

With that inner freedom, Frankl survived the Holocaust, found meaning in his suffering and empowered himself. He chose his response to tragedy, instead of letting contagious fear take over his mind. How can we find faith in total uncertainty? How can we balance our innate human need for connection while being as safe as possible? Can we trust the authorities? Can we trust our intuition about the best course of action for ourselves?

Wise decision-making becomes critical in times of crisis and much more challenging. With so many unknowns, we must rely on our intuition to a greater extent than ever. In times of uncertainty and conflicting information, emotional reactions fill the gaps and lead to terrible decisions. We catastrophize , we get fatalistic and even seriously depressed. We should not make decisions while in this state of mind.

In this “deep unknown”, when uncertainty and fear are magnified by a sense of urgency and untrustworthy information—taking advantage of the opportunity to slow down, use intuitive intelligence tools, and make better decisions can keep us both safe and connected. There’s no one-size-fits all solution here. Everyone’s chosen approach to living through the pandemic will look a little different and that’s okay. While you find your way, assess your acceptable level of risk, seek advice from trustworthy sources, and do what feels right to you; consider not only yourself but also collective safety.

This pandemic will not last forever. Beyond figuring out how to survive, let’s heed the call to be both more careful and more caring. Let’s strengthen our immune system, honor spiritual priorities and find our personal point of balance.

Perhaps the only certainty we can be sure of is that which we create through our commitments—perhaps to some healthy routines, rituals, and more conscious heartfelt relating. By shifting our perspective, fine-tuning our intuition, accepting what life brings—by focusing on what we can learn and do—we can keep hope alive even in the face of massive uncertainty and doubt.

The fog will lift, things will become clear, and this too shall pass. Like Victor Frankl, we have a choice between falling apart or coming out of this stronger and more aware. Find your balance and keep the faith.

Try Some Self-Compassion For A Change

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Those of us who pay attention to the spiritual dimensions of life know about compassion, one of the most important forms of loving-kindness. Validating modern psychotherapy’s latest findings, the Dalai Lama reminds us that compassion can positively re-wire the mind.

Simply put, compassion is feeling and expressing loving-kindness for people going through troubles or suffering. Obviously, there’s certainly no shortage of suffering in the world to feel compassion for. In fact, all types of suffering—physical and psychological—seem to be multiplying right before our eyes, not only in impoverished societies, but including a growing dispossessed homeless population everywhere you look.

Indeed, according to Buddhist logic, we will all suffer—even the rich and comfortable—because suffering is built in to the ego’s strategy of ever pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain. The very fear of suffering begets extra anxiety—even more suffering, as we criticize ourselves for being anxious to begin with! We often shame ourselves as if there’s something wrong with us when we don’t understand or can’t cope with feelings.

We don’t have to suffer the crippling effects of anxiety, however. There are healthy ways to cope with stress and anxiety, instead of engaging in self-criticism and negative judgments or the abuse of addictive substances and behaviors, which only leaves us feeling empty and worse off. Self-compassion is the royal path of the heart. It is the art of directing a loving, forgiving energy towards yourself, with new perspectives on your old dissatisfactions, perceived failures, and frustrations.

It is soothing and helpful during times of stress to focus your conscious mind on personal images of kindness, understanding, and love, in order to cultivate those feelings within yourself. Find some sacred images that appeal to you and move your soul. Print them out and post them around your space. You will train your mind to combat anxiety-causing thoughts and emotions with the powerful presence of love and acceptance. You will become happier.

Self-compassion is coming to the forefront of psychotherapy, as per an excellent book by Dr. Dennis Tirch called The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Overcoming Anxiety: Using Compassion-Focused Therapy to Calm Worry, Panic, and Fear. Dr. Tirch writes about how treating ourselves with compassion has a huge impact on the quality of our lives and our ability to deal with inner difficulties, such as anxiety, fear, shame and depression.

In his book, Dr. Tirch writes, “Compassion begins with a deep understanding of just how tricky our brains are and a recognition that they are not that well put together! Once we recognize how difficult our emotions can be, we can stand back from them and feel compassion for the difficulties we experience.”

As we learn how to not take life’s challenges so personally, and to forgive ourselves for our imperfections by cultivating self-compassion, the uncomfortable effects of anxiety will diminish in our lives.

According to Dr. Tirch, “If you’re able to tolerate your anxiety-related distress and accept that anxiety is a part of life, then you’ll also be able to work with it and around it—in short, you’ll be better able to function in your life.” Just reading Dr. Tirch’s book and interviewing him for my Pathways podcast helped me enormously. (Now please excuse me while I take a deep breath and give myself a hug! 🙂

Gifting Your Best

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According to a folk saying in Thailand, if a person is wealthy, it’s because they were generous in a previous lifetime. (They have another one about if a person is beautiful it’s because they were kind, but that is a different article.) Either way there’s a catch (there’s always a catch). If you are well-off now you have the wherewithal to be even more generous this time around. Yet how many wealthy people are greedy and miserly, always in pursuit of more, more, more? Just as too many beautiful looking people might be conceited, mean and snobby. Such folks are spiritually regressing and, if they’re not careful, they could come back as an ugly cockroach.

The most generous human societies existed long before the invention of private property. Indigenous foragers had no concept of individually accumulated wealth. Often on the move, they shared everything transparently and immediately. Our native ancestors wisely put the highest value on community—recognizing human bonds as the only real security there is in life. As a result, they instinctively took joy in sharing and bonding with each other, never imagining hoarding possessions or lording it over others who have less. They would have been quickly ostracized for such egotistical obnoxiousness.

Our species, Homo sapiens, existed 200,000 to 300,000 years before civilization took over culture. According Christopher Ryan, author and psychologist, humans certainly had survival challenges way back then, but overall the foragers were considerably healthier and happier than their agriculturist descendants—and way less stressed out, working only 20 hours/week.

Biologically not much has changed in the last 10,000 years, a mere blip in anthropological time. Technology is rampant these days—and having a huge impact on the way we interact with each other—but essentially we are the same species, organically wired for cooperation and sharing. And, even in these times, we invest in our most trustworthy source of security anytime we give of our time, energy and attention to others in a real way. This is love (and I’ve heard it said that generosity is an aphrodisiac.)

As we enter gift-giving season, let’s remember that a wonderful, transformative gift that strengthens the fabric of relationships is just being there for someone else. This is a gift we can give all year round. In these times of shallow social media connecting, being totally present and deeply listening to another—without judging, reacting or editing—is a supremely generous and precious gift. The exercise of emotional intelligence known as empathy, wherein we accept and try to understand another person’s feelings—and let them feel that—is a gift of healing. Passing on some skill or knowledge that you have mastered is a gift of mentoring. Helping somebody move is a gift of service. Giving a homeless person a sandwich is a gift of nourishment. Smiling and saying “Howzit going?” to a stranger on an elevator is a gift of kindness and civility.

No matter how little property or money we have at our disposal, we all have gifts—really valuable gifts—that we can find a way to give. The practice of generosity honors our ancestors and ennobles us as human beings. It cleanses the soul of competitive possessiveness, status and privilege. May we honor our heartfelt heritage and grow back into ourselves by embracing our native generosity of spirit!

Discover Your Intuitive Intelligence

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We now recognize several forms of intelligence. There’s IQ, emotional intelligence and—thanks to the work of Esther Perel—erotic intelligence. One of the most important forms of intelligence is “intuitive intelligence,” which is the title of my new book (available September 10, 2019 from Beyond Words Publishing).

Long known as “the sixth sense,” intuition is a higher sort of instinct, a feeling-based skill that transcends the strictures of logical analysis. Intuition is commonly defined as the ability to acquire knowledge without inference, or the use of reason. It is a holistic and nonverbal faculty that takes in the big picture and receives holistic impressions directly, sensing patterns without regulation by, or interference from, the analytical mind. The logical left-brain is superb at taking things apart and putting them back together again, sometimes in inventive ways. A holistic approach to perception, however, is different. It hinges on understanding that the totality of a system is much bigger than the sum of its parts and—for making big decisions—much more important. Thus, the subtitle of my book, “Make Life-Changing Decisions with Perfect Timing.”

Unfortunately, the reception of information by the intuitive sense cannot be switched on or willed into action like logical thinking can. From a Jungian point of view, we could say it’s more feminine energy than masculine. Its operation depends on being open and receptive to a spontaneous flow of impressions, insights, ideas, unusual occurrences, coincidences, hunches, and inspirations that arise in your personal mindscape. Such noticing can’t be forced; the mental circuits have to let go of rumination to free up the mind. It requires setting aside thinking in favor of a holistic ability to take in entire patterns, where not all the interconnections are visible, when the situation is not outlined enough to be fully traced or logically analyzed.

This ability to take in whole patterns is intimately related to the “visionary decision-making” process I teach in my book. It is a high form of pattern recognition, related to the ability to hold a vision, wherein larger patterns are perceived even though all the dots aren’t filled in. Holistic perceiving also benefits from wisdom, wherein more of the big picture has been filled in by experience and memory.

Intuition’s most important function and role in life is to help with decision-making, strategy, and making the right moves at the right time. The four steps involved in making a visionary decision are: 1) determining the best action you can take, 2) committing to that action, 3) deciding when to make your move, and 4) executing your decision with confidence. It is important to coordinate intuition with logic when it comes to your choices, but the timing aspect is especially important—and tricky, since it is almost entirely an intuitive decision.

In order to develop our intuitive sense, we have to learn to notice it and listen to it. It’s a subtle ability that never instigates strong feelings—gut or otherwise. Intuition, like meditation, is mindful of the big picture, the largest patterns. It ‘speaks’ to us through a quiet voice or feeling, based on its special kind of broad seeing. Paying attention to those subtle signals, and being open to them, is one of the best tools we can develop to make great decisions and cultivate Intuitive Intelligence.

Tame Your Ego for Lasting Happiness

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A common spiritual trope is that we should get rid of ego. The word can even make us cringe or feel guilty. We try to suppress parts of ourselves, but to operate in the world we need a personal sense of self. When kept in its place, a healthy ego is extremely useful. It helps us get things done and express the unique gifts of who we are.

Ego can feel separate, unloved, and threatened, afraid of intimacy and afraid to let love in. On the useful side, its basic job is to defend us. We can allow it to relax its guard, feel less separate, and support our higher selves. But to insist on “no ego” is just an egoistic mentality struggling with itself. We can approach all ego actions with openness instead of judgment and channel them to serve the heart through authentic engagement and love. Whether you are coming from ego or from your heart is the central question regarding lasting fulfillment in life.

Khan defines ego as “the imaginary identity of an overstimulated nervous system.” He characterizes an overstimulated nervous system as having a closed heart, a noisy mind, low self-esteem, with an ego that runs things like an overcontrolling commander-in-chief.

We can learn to engage and integrate the ego as a competent lieutenant, who helps us get our needs met, while taking direction from the higher self. Gradually, we can unravel and heal our battered nervous systems. The keys are radical acceptance, compassion (including self-compassion), honesty and emotional receptivity. Just like its fears, the ego cannot be defeated, cured, or overcome. It evolves through our commitment to love ourselves and each other. When we let ourselves feel grief, rage, terror and other emotions, we can free the ego to better serve our soulful hearts.

The ego is only capable of conditional love and tends to be transactional, and that’s OK under many circumstances. When the immature ego, weak and conflicted, is in control, however, it blocks fulfillment. According to spiritual mystic Matt Kahn, the ego can be thought of as the “soul in incubation.” We process ego stages of development in trying to attain security, pleasure and power. It’s only when we get stuck on one of these three lower levels of consciousness that the ego’s control bites us. (Eckhart Tolle refers to this as the “pain body.”) The soul, or higher self, is a wave on the cosmic sea, connected to all. Unconditional love comes via the soul, via a heart-centered higher consciousness.

Whether we know why or how, everything is here to help us in making the transition from ego-centered to heart-centered. “While the ego judges each feeling solely on how painful or pleasant it is, the soul views each emotion while it lasts as an opportunity to love itself,” writes Kahn. Instead of fighting our ego, let’s learn to embrace it, listen to it and from that, grow and learn. In truth, through all the changes we can’t control, through all the pain and suffering of its dissatisfactions, the ego is evolving to serve the heart. Although it hurts sometimes, love is our only fulfillment and more than worth the price.

Matt Kahn is a spiritual teacher, healer and author. I had the good fortune to interview Matt Kahn on my Pathways Podcast and to attend his three-day retreat in Portland Oregon.