Why do women need men?

As I often do, I have been pondering general questions, such as the changing dynamics of intimate relationships (specifically hetero, my orientation). Ever willing to ask dumb questions, I wonder: What, if anything, do modern women feel they need men for at this point?

Generally speaking, men have tended to look to a mate to satisfy sexual and emotional needs. In general, women have less urgency in getting these particular needs met from men than the other way around (of course, women need and want these things also, but they don’t have as much testosterone/craving for sex and can get a lot of their emotional nourishment from girlfriends, while men are often poverty-conscious in both departments, even if they deny it). Historically, women’s selection priorities had been more about a male partner’s ability to physically provide for and protect her and their children.

Generally, men’s needs have not changed, and men seem just as dependent upon women for sex and emotional nourishment as ever. But these days women don’t have as much need for protection and provision and, in many cases, no need at all. (And now we have sperm banks!)

Around 1980, there was a bumper sticker that read “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” What do you think? After 40 years of the feminist movement (and greatly increased male-bashing), do you think this sentiment is still growing? Or is romantic fantasy perhaps making a comeback?

Given that women generally can support themselves in our modern society, why exactly do they need men? Obviously, men can be good at catching spiders, fixing a modem or figuring out how much gravel it takes to fill a driveway, but is that enough? 🙂

22 thoughts on “Why do women need men?

  1. on the self-sufficient woman who is not in search of a man…
    i thought your perspective was very interesting but just wanted to add – I don’t think being with an older person is the answer. This I say from experience, I married someone 10 years older when i was only 20, this was my undoing not my great learning experience. I’m not saying I didn’t learn from it because I did, I learned to be cynical (just like him). I think the best learning experience for a young person is to fall in love in the bloom of youth whilst there is still trust and vulnerability and hope. If they are very lucky they will grow to love each other more over time and develop a bond that epitomises what relationship is all about.

    those of us who have made it into later adulthood without finding this sweet soul-mate love, or just plain sweet love, may indeed find ourselves ‘hooking up’ in less than loving unions in order to satisfy our basic human needs of physical contact and sexual gratification.

    i do not agree with those who think men need or want sex more than women. Women who have sexual experience are more aware of their sexual drives and desires. Those who marry for security and family may not be so keenly aware of these needs if they were not awakened before or within their long term commitment. Some women leave their long term partners in search of this elusive awakening. Once found it is difficult to find satisfaction with a less than sexually compatible partner especially when, as many have already pointed out here, women can look after their own financial security.

    So if a woman is not in search of securing a home and having a family, is not seeking a sexual awakening, or a soul-mate (if her heart has been broken or her soul-mate met and lost already), then perhaps she is seeking to evolve through relationship and therefore meet a highly evolved male – these are as few and far between as the highly evolved female friends or community groups she would also be seeking.

    Self sufficiency is not such a nasty place to be… especially if you are watching your children grow into adulthood, and enjoy the time you have to be creative and have a rich fulfilling life.

  2. Ummmm…anyone can do anything. Being married is not something everyone has to do unless they feel pressured to do so. Which always ends up bad. If a woman feels that they need a man…it is most likely due to her own insecurity and/or laziness (in my experience). That is obvious, especially in today’s society. I know many girls are doing it just because of the laziness factor!!! They think “Oh, the men will take care of everything!” and then they go out and buy their Louis Vuittons and Coach Purses. They just stay kids their whole lives and expect stuff to be handed to them. Simply put, they never grow up. They take advantage of it. Even if I was born decades ago, I would still believe the same way. It all depends on YOU and what YOU want out of YOUR life that makes your reality.

    I am a woman…(BUM BUM BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMM!!!) and I must say I can catch my own spider (heck they are all around my bed and I don’t even care…I think they are cute haha), fix my own modem (I even built my own computer…O_o), and figuring out how much gravel is needed to fill a driveway??? We aren’t complete dunces!!!!>_<…and that isn't even hard. And with the internet…everything is on here. Anybody can just look up how to do stuff for themselves…I'm telling you IT'S EASY unless you are L-A-Z-Y. HAHAHA!

    Now I am getting into wilderness survival! It is fun to learn how to do things and become a reliant person (then you can help others in that specific field). Of course, I understand that not every woman is like me…duh!!! HAHAHAHA…since most of the women I know are ruled by laziness and like to act like they were born retards (to take advantage of men and money). However, while they are enjoying they're fake and leechy way of life, I am in a REAL relationship. Of course I would be fine on my own and He accepts that just fine. But I choose to be with him…not because of anything that he DOES, but how he makes me feel. I am really happy with him. And he believes in me. He's my friend and I am his too. And that's it!^-^

    1. Interesting…I don’t agree with women being lazy at all. I do agree that the vast majority of ladies do not need men though. High Technology has ensured this and so the future will see MANY single person residences great for a Realtor. So get what you are saying. I don’t miss a lady at all even on TV accept, tactility. That takes far too much effort. Enjoy the Wilderness where I have spent so much time and that is truly LIVING … away from the masses where there is mostly despair.

  3. a professional single woman can do all in life herself have a child… fix house…I hired handy man or contractors. Modern life empower women in many ways…deep inside, we, men and women crave love, affection, physical and emotional connection…our life/time have changed…however, our deepest desire have not…I still feel like to be protected and provide by a man I love…also want to respect and submit to him for that…
    it is our nature…

    1. But there is really no need for women to be protected in this Environment anymore and as for affection, men have been deemed to be relatively Null and Void when it comes to that but, when we do show affection we become a Suspect of ridicule. We are however, very good listeners when around women who love to talk. If we become bored we can always talk about or do something we prefer with a male friend(s).

  4. Everyone needs to be loved, even self-sufficient women. Could I live without my husband? Of course. I can hire anyone to do anything I need. Except love me. Having someone that loves me is the greatest gift. All the other stuff, like catching spiders, is just a bonus to having a man in my life!

  5. I am 40 and still can’t find a right women. The major issue is that I don’t want to approach them any longer. Things like this really upset me – looks like I owe them an approach. Man should approach. Why should I? Why it’s always my problem?
    There some women do approach, very rarely though. Usually fat or very old.

    Man also have to buy drinks and gifts to get attention of a women, while it’s almost never otherwise. And, if she decides to choose another guy, will she care about returning all the money you’ve spent? Compensate your moral losses and efforts? No. Never.

    Can they imagine, how devastating is to try hard – approach, entertain them, spend money on them and be left with nothing, when she judges that you were not good enough for her and she chooses another guy?

    You know, I want to feel that women need me too. They don’t do anything, they just wait until I make a move and judge me. It’s really frustrating. They also sometimes even punishing me for not approaching. Like they demonstratively hug or kiss in front of me with more active guy, who was probably on cocaine or he is “dickhead”. Like “oh, look what did you loose!”.

    It’s also strange, why women can’t make moves and narrowing their choice only to the guys who approach them? They they complain “I can’t find a good guy”.

    I don’t need a woman then, because I want to be loved too and feel equally wanted.

    Our man’s nature is getting widely exploited, we now are becoming house slaves, ATMs and home pets. We serve women. And marriage became like a business, where usually man at the loss.

    They don’t really need a man as a person and human being. We are dickheads, animals, we have no heart, we want to have nothing, but sex and should be exploited…

    1. Sorry, but that’s why you are alone. Why why why.. Why not? Have you ever watched National Geographic? Did you see that every male tries to impress a female in the animal world? Dance for her, bring food, have a fancy “outfit”. That is YOUR job to impress us, even though it looks the other way around! That is your job to prove that you are the best of all and that I should trust you with my babies and my entire life, seek for protection from you when I am pregnant and can’t take care of myself. If you are so much afraid to spend money on a woman, I guarantee you will end up alone all your life. I would NEVER ever go out with a man again if he offers to share a bill at our first date. I don’t mind to go somewhere where we don’t have to spend money (and you probably should look for a woman who does not offer to go out to a fancy restaurant), but when a man OFFERS to go out and then takes your money, that’s a big turn off for me. I am not a greedy person or a freeloader. I can pay and I WOULD pay next time or in our later relationships, but when a man offers to share the first bill then I put a label on him UNRELIABLE and put him into my DENIED file.

      1. Sexist or what Evi so listen up as I dissect your narcissism: “that’s why you are alone” okay then see how Fair and Logical your argument will be > “watch National Geographic & see every male tries to impress a female in the animal world?” Let’s assume you are correct but, they do not do so Evi using money rather it is how they look & their behaviour whereas with human males we are Judged by how much money we have #1 “Dance for her” ah Evi, men do not enjoy dancing near as much as women do therefore your gender is asking us to dance because YOU enjoy dancing; discos and strip joints prove what I just said “bring food” oh so now we are to provide food when for centuries this also along with dancing was a woman’s domain until your gender decided that cooking is beneath you “have a fancy Outfit” again what men wear is predictable whereas women well today especially at Universities dress like little … and just as the chap said above to get something from them like BUY MY DRINKS then they LOL as they take off “That is YOUR job to impress us, even though it looks the other way around!” Job??? You are proving his point that it is an expected entitlement of women to take take take and why why why? Because you have been spoiled rotten by generations of males gone by and now the younger males have caught on and want no more of this so remain single “That is your job to prove that you are the best of all” oh so women sit back a Judge the contestants as if you have so much to offer? What about Women’s Lib, Feminism that preaches “Equality” and so LOL yeah right…BS…and women know this. Part of Equality is asking men out and doing these things you just shared since hey, often you have more funds having horded it away in safe keeping “that I should trust you with my babies” here that ppl, MY babies” my oh my, narcissist beyond and note that the child has no say as Evi has already power tripped the baby just as she does men “and my entire life”, your entire life you need a man so he must be trustworthy? Holy smokes what are you smoking or, you must be pulling our legs “seek for protection from you when I am pregnant and can’t take care of myself” LOL then I guess you can’t breast feed or look after a baby afterward too “If you are so much afraid to spend money on a woman, I guarantee you will end up alone all your life” AH AH AH thank you Evi for defining the truth money. I wonder where you are living because knock knock, women are now 52% of the workforce and have their own money but THANK YOU because you just nailed it admitting that all women want a man’s money “I would NEVER ever go out with a man again if he offers to share a bill at our first date” then I would warn all men that she doesn’t have the capacity to Love. If you ever marry do not say the vows For Better Worse because if your man made less than you, lost his job, or couldn’t work for whatever reason YOU would bail on him “you probably should look for a woman who does not offer to go out to a fancy restaurant” EXACTLY which like all the travelling so many women feel an entitlement, restaurants are a waste of money and a cop out for women not being able to but more so not wanting to prepare a meal for a man since it is degrading just like breast feeding “but when a man OFFERS to go out and then takes your money, that’s a big turn off for me” hen YOU ask a man out and not be so selfish “I am not a greedy person or a freeloader” oh no not much lol “I can pay and I WOULD pay next time or in our later relationships” oh, you say that but would not offer or even if you did you know he would say no it’s ok I’ll pay “but when a man offers to share the first bill then I put a label on him UNRELIABLE and put him into my DENIED file” and thank God for those men who don’t meet your check List because you are one of the most self{suffix} women I have encountered online. I’ll take it that you have been pulling our legs with your reply so you’re forgiven.

        1. Right on Martin, thanks for taking the time, really enjoy your writing! Brainwashed bimbos are boring — the inmates are running
          the asylum, so most men I know have the same problem, both in the States and here in Greece. I am a well-read and highly intelligent person have avoided the company of my own “fair” sex (with a few exceptions)since childhood, maybe instinctively, as it seems the 1950’s and 60’s consumer society model of women was a deterrent to the brain development of the girls around me. I have been happy to seek the company of boys & men, and to learn how to live an independent and creative life. My reward has been to be in the company of talented and amazing people, musicians, mechanics, bikers, botonists, philosophers, linguists, archaeologists, doctors, sailors, swimmers, sportsmen, fishermen, photographers, journalists, drag queens…

          Best Wishes to You for Luck and Chemistry,
          Do Lee, Mykonos, Greece

    2. I feel you!
      Thank you for saying this, I really needed to hear a man’s POV.
      Most of our, women’s, behavioral patterns are wrapped up in a fantasy about being a courted princess, combined with madonna/whore complex, with some reality TV on top.
      We’re all very mixed up on these matters and hurting each other very much.
      I will be a much better date and potential partner for having read this insight.
      Love and light on the path to finding your beloved!

      1. CHI: Thank you for replying to this man with unselfishness unlike Evi above….I shouldn’t LOL at her but OMG, well, just read what she said to him. Madonna Whore oh yesssss…if there is a God Madonna is in very deep trouble as a very sick woman but hey, she has tons of money so she can be anything she wants until her child grows up with problems and she becomes old and looks into her mirror much like Elizabeth Taylor after what 8 husbands. Watch “Cat On A Hot Tin Roof” and you will feel ill afterwards

    3. You raised some points in the first half that are 100 facts for most men unless you have enough money which changes everything. Near the end the choice of words got a little spinny so please watch this when typing or talking with ladies because generally speaking they will pick out one or a few words you have used and throw them back in your face. Please then always remain factual and then they cannot argue back. In this scenario what you will often find is they will ignore you because they know you are correct. You could always try outside of this culture but, even they will expect money from you and as for richer Career women, they often end up with rich or richer males.

  6. Its such as you learn my thoughts! You seem to grasp a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I feel that you can do with some % to power the message house a bit, but other than that, that is excellent blog. A great read. I will definitely be back.

  7. You know what, its sad but maybe they don’t need us at all anymore. Damn. Well we’ll always not just want and crave women, but need them as well. I love women, and even if it is a one way street, I’ll always love, want, and need them.

    I’ve been getting the sense over the past few years of that too. That women seem to be not as interested in men anymore, which really does make me kind of sad. But you know what, I’m not trippin though. All you can do in life is be the best person you can be. If I never find a wife, I’ll be pretty sad, I’m not gonna lie, but I wont let it get me too down, I’ll just do my best to be the best uncle, brother, son, friend, and human being I can be to this world, and hopefully make a difference to this world in that way

    1. Men have TAUGHT women not to “need” them. When a man walks out on a 4-year, 20-year, 30-year, etc. “committed” relationship/marriage, a woman has to get SERIOUSLY TOUGH on the inside to withstand the blow. She HAS to come to not need a man any more. We ALL “teach” others how to treat us. Men TEACH women to not need them when they (/men) “give up”…walk out.

  8. Women need men. We’re just not sure exactly how to feel about that as we are worried about how our vulnerability will come back to bite us in the ass. We live in a world where when it comes down to it we have to take care if ourselves. There are times when I look at my life and i know i can do everything I need to do to take care if myself but I just want a strong man to be there next to me saying I know you can do it but I’m here if you need me. I think woman would be more apt to let a man be a man if they knew they could count on them. A day when they need a man to say listen to me and trust me I got this! Trust me ill take care of you. No woman could turn that down. It’s not in our nature. We need men. Any woman that says she doesn’t is in in denial.

    1. Jen, as a man who has experienced a great in life which would take a book to share I can’t agree with you. “Need” is the key word and women today don’t “need” men at all even to conceive, clone themselves and with ALL the high tech. created by men they know how to utilize it so women could survive on this planet without men. More and more in western cultures they are proving this too. Men see this and so they are deciding more and more not to cohabitate let alone marriage nor wish to have children. Call it an “Identity Crisis” or the realization that neither a woman or child “needs” them.

      1. Just another sharing: As a single person who was married and a child, who adored my mother who has long since departed, I have to be honest in saying that I don’t miss the company of a woman accept the physical part while I am not macho either. My interests, though varied I tend to adequately share with men and find they listen and appreciate me and interests much more than women do. And, a HUGE factor is no competing, bashing, verbal abuse (not trying to be critical just quietly sharing facts) etc. IF, there was a woman like my mother was out there as she put Dad before everyone else as he did her having Separate roles too, I could be persuaded by her yet until then, it takes soooooooooo much effort in every which way to ask, give and please that it becomes to much Stress. Life today is completely different than a few decades ago like the 60s/50s and backwards, so I always hear from older people who were relatively satisfied and content. I feel so badly for the youth and would not want to be in their shoes.

  9. “Obviously, men can be good at catching spiders, fixing a modem or figuring out how much gravel it takes to fill a driveway, but is that enough?”

    Can women not do this as well?

  10. Fact is…Men do NOT need women…AT ALL! I welcome anyone to answer how we do…aside from those needy for sex or a continuation of “mother.” True happiness comes with true and total freedom. I’m 47, never married, not dating and living my life’s dreams happily and free.

  11. As a man, I can tell you that it is in our blood to feel like we’ve got purpose, that we’re important to our women and we’ll do anything for her to make that happen. I want to do all that I can to make my partner feel happy, safe and healthy. It’s not about dependency. It’s about establishing and maintaining a reliable and trustworthy foundation. It’s about feeling secure that everyone in my family, including my wife can sleep soundly and wake up, able and ready to conquer their dreams. What’s more… the reason why our home is our castle and we feel the need to protect it and provide for it is because our own family matters more to us than government and especially more some strangers who might threaten our castles. To be honest, I think it’s really unwise to blindly trust in any standing government and blindly follow its laws over your own family. As a husband, I should matter more than any president or king and especially more than a neighbor. If I’m doing something for you, I’m looking for you, your safety, your future, your happiness. No stranger will care like I will.

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